Deformed children of a twisted mind

For every delicious quick enchilada there is a secret mutant evil twin carbohydrate-like substance locked in a closet somewhere, and in this case that would be Monday night's well-meaning but bizarre and unnatural pasta feast. I had a delicious tagliatelle dish the previous Friday at Citizen Cake. It was a lovely shade of deep but pleasant yellow, with a perfectly clingy, faintly cheesy, delicate savory sauce wending its way among luscious organic veggie bits and toothsome noodles.

On Monday, when I thought about making pasta, the only adjective that seemed important happened to be "yellow," and my primitive reptile brain leapt to the conclusion that if only I could make my pasta sauce the same shade of yellow as that wonderful stuff from last time, it would be just as good! But I wanted some tomato in there, and there were some mushrooms in the fridge. Following this train of thought to its logical conclusion, I created the most inedible dish of the year, whole-wheat pasta with turmeric-tomato-shiitake-olive sauce. I admit, it's difficult to add enough turmeric to overpower those other strong savory flavors, but in my single-minded pursuit of yellowness, I somehow succeeded. For future reference, it takes about a heaping tablespoon.

The result was bitter and disgusting, but I didn't give up. Proving that an alien with no taste buds had taken over my brain, I then remembered that a little sugar can sometimes correct and enhance the flavor of a sauce, so I added three or four tablespoons. Yep, although I don't quite remember through the haze of insanity, it's true that I may have added an entire quarter-cup of brown sugar to a small pot of tomato sauce. This officially converted the mess to turmeric-shiitake-olive ketchup.

I gave up and went out for crepes.