Totally Awesome Pork Chops

1. Dig four old 3/4-inch pork chops out of the back of your freezer. When you see that they are frozen together into a solid chunk of pigflesh, defrost them by soaking in hot saltwater.
2. Mix 1 tsp salt, 1/2 tsp pepper, 1/2 tbsp dried marjoram, 1/2 tsp allspice, and a shot of whiskey. Dab this onto each side of the defrosted pork chops with the back of a spoon and rub it in real good.
3. Chop up a couple of bunches of turnip greens and throw in some parsley or cilantro or what have you. Chop up half an onion and a couple of garlic cloves.
4. Saute the onion and garlic in olive oil until the onion is soft. Throw in the chopped greens and cook lightly, covered, until the greens are tender. Add salt and pepper to taste and finish with a splash of cider vinegar.
5. Cook the pork chops on medium-high heat around 5 minutes per side or until juices run clear or until no longer pink inside or whatever. Remove to a plate.
6. To the pan drippings, add another chopped 1/2 onion and saute until soft.
7. Add 1/2 cup cranberries, 1 tsp thyme, and 3/4 cup wine. Bring to a boil and stir until reduced to a thick sauce. Salt and pepper to taste.
8. Pile a heap of greens on a plate, top with pork chop, and top pork chop with onion-cranberry sauce.
9. Soooo good!